Working Together

Creating a safe and respectful school environment requires a strong partnership between families and the school. While we work every day to address and prevent bullying, the conversations that happen at home are just as important. When parents talk with their children about kindness, respect, and how to navigate conflict, it reinforces what students are learning at school. Open communication between families and the school is also essential—sharing concerns early allows us to work together to support students effectively. Equally important is helping students build the skills they need to disagree respectfully, engage in difficult conversations, and set healthy boundaries. When students are equipped with these tools, they are better prepared to handle challenges and contribute to a positive, inclusive community. In the toolkit below, please find important information that will help start the conversation.

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Anti-Bullying Curriculum Resources

The South Orange–Maplewood School District utilizes the NJ Bar Foundation’s Bullying Prevention Guide: A School-Wide Approach to Dealing with Bullying and Normal Conflict as its primary anti-bullying curriculum resource. During the Week of Respect, students across the district participate in classroom-based lessons aligned to this guide that are aligned with their grade level.

Below, you’ll find parent letters for each lesson, along with helpful dinner table questions to spark meaningful conversations at home.

Anti Bullying Curriculum Parent Letters

Parent Letter Letter 1

CLICK HERE

Parent Letter Letter 2

Parent Letter Letter 3

Parent Letter Letter 4

Parent Letter Letter 5

Supporting Your Child Through Conflict and Bullying

Conflict

How to Help Your Child Through Conflict:

Conflict is a normal and healthy part of growing up, and it plays an important role in children’s social and emotional development. As children interact with peers, disagreements are bound to happen, and these moments provide valuable opportunities to learn essential life skills. Through conflict, children learn how to express their feelings, listen to others, problem-solve, and see different perspectives. With guidance from adults, they can develop the ability to disagree respectfully, manage strong emotions, and repair relationships. Rather than something to avoid, conflict—when handled appropriately—helps children build resilience, empathy, and the skills they need to navigate relationships in a positive and productive way.

Here are four practical, age-appropriate strategies you can teach your child to handle conflict early—before it escalates into bullying:

1. Use Clear, Respectful “I” Statements

Teach your child to express how they feel without blaming:

“I didn’t like that—please stop.”
“I feel upset when that happens.”
This helps them communicate boundaries calmly and confidently.

2. Walk Away and Take Space

Let them know it’s okay to step away from a situation that feels heated or uncomfortable:

Go to another area
Take a break and cool down
This prevents small conflicts from escalating.

3. Seek Support from a Trusted Adult

Encourage your child to reach out early—not just when things get serious:

Teacher, counselor, coach, or staff member
Framing it as getting help, not tattling is key.

4. Choose Positive Peer Support

Remind your child to stay close to friends who are kind and supportive:

Sit with trusted peers
Avoid situations where conflict is more likely
Having allies can de-escalate tension and build confidence.

Helpful framing for kids

You might say:

“Conflicts happen, but you have tools to handle them. Speaking up, walking away, and getting help are all strong choices.”

Bullying

Is It Bullying?

Understanding whether your child is experiencing a typical conflict or bullying is an important first step in responding effectively. While conflict is usually a disagreement between peers of equal power that can be resolved, bullying involves repeated behavior, a power imbalance, and intent to harm. Taking the time to understand what is really happening—by listening to your child, asking questions, and gathering information—helps ensure the response is appropriate and supportive. When parents have a clear picture of the situation, they are better able to guide their child, partner with the school, and choose strategies that address the issue in a meaningful and effective way.

Here are 10 supportive, open-ended conversation starters you can use if you’re concerned your child may be experiencing bullying. These are designed to feel safe—not interrogative—so your child is more likely to open up

“How have things been going with your friends and classmates lately?”
“Is there anything at school that’s been bothering you or making you feel uncomfortable?”
“Who do you usually sit with at lunch or spend time with during the day?”
“Have you noticed anyone being treated unfairly or unkindly at school?”
“What’s been stressful or frustrating for you recently?”
“Do you ever feel left out or excluded by others?”
“If something upsetting happened at school, how would you handle it?”
“Are there times when you don’t feel safe or supported at school or online?”
“Who is an adult at school you feel comfortable talking to?”
“What can I do to help make school feel better or easier for you?”

Tips for these conversations

Ask during low-pressure moments (car rides, dinner, before bed)
Stay calm and avoid jumping to conclusions
Listen more than you talk
Reassure them that they won’t get in trouble for sharing

The Definition of Bullying In New Jersey

"Harassment, intimidation or bullying" means

Any gesture, any written, verbal or physical act, or any electronic communication, whether it be a single incident or a series of incidents,
that is reasonably perceived as being motivated either by any actual or perceived characteristic, such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, or a mental, physical or sensory disability, or by any other distinguishing characteristic,
that takes place on school property, at any schoolsponsored function, on a school bus, or off school grounds
that substantially disrupts or interferes with the orderly operation of the school or the rights of other students and that:
and that meets ONE of the following criteria:

a reasonable person should know, under the circumstances, will have the effect of physically or emotionally harming a student or damaging the student's property, or placing a student in reasonable fear of physical or emotional harm to his person or damage to his property;
has the effect of insulting or demeaning any student or group of students; or
creates a hostile educational environment for the student by interfering with a student’s education or by severely or pervasively causing physical or emotional harm to the student.

How To File a Bullying Investigation

The district's anti-bullying software program, HIBster, facilitates submissions of bullying allegations. Developed with students and teachers in mind, the system serves as the center for executing all necessary procedures to meet the state's terms and due dates. School officials take actions that are efficient, methodical, and without confusion due to the strict nature of anti-bullying requirements.

Please note: You may also speak to your child's teacher, principal or other school staff member regarding bullying.